~ art by Leah Jay
Dear {past} me,
What would {you} think of me?
Would you be proud of me, satisfied with this person?
Your own future realized, laid out before you, leading up into me, if you could bear witness to it, would you be excited, expectant and eager to engage on this journey? Ready to forge our destiny, thus far?
Did I take you where you wanted to go, let you experience the things you dreamed of and strived for?
Or did I let you down?
What should a me think of me?
Any of them.
Of the multitude back there.
If I could look back into time, perhaps say a few words to one, to you, to any of them, what would I say? What could I say that would be worth anything to that person?
Would I want to lead you to where I am standing right now?
~
I’m not sure. And if I had the power to alter my fate, unbecoming to my current self, I am not sure I would or wouldn’t make alterations, for any step along the way.
What did Kierkegaard say?
Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
True enough, I can say.
It is difficult to think about what they would want, what I did want. So much changes. So much has changed within me over the years.
It is distressful to think that I have let any of them down, my past selves, but it is also natural to believe it to be true, to be possible. A consideration, and a reciprocal exertion for me to ponder. If only to change myself for the better of my own shifting future.
I think it is important to be aware of these progressions of self. Perhaps to reflect on a past, is to learn about one’s present and future possibilities.
Now, the only course before me is to move forward and be the person my destined, future self believes I can become. The person he knows I am becoming.
Well, I guess I should give you more.
Some advice:
~ Let go of all inadequacy
~ Keep advancing your self alongside others
~ Seek Love
There is a task before you, now. To reflect on your own future is to observe its finite possibility. Behold the destinations, weigh the outcomes, condition the mind for a singular path, then grasp Morai. For you, and for me.
Sincerely,
A Present Self
Thresholds of Transformation 