~ a poem about being

How can I return
To a world I’ve never been?
Where is the hope
In untraversed traps of singular fantasy?

Standing upon a threshold,
Unknown fears take hold
Remembering futures untold
Knowing something of those untrodden paths
And the sacrifice to behold
I knowingly recede
Into shadow
They forcefully concede.

Leaving in my wake
Equal parts spite
And unquestioning doubt.

My beginnings will never illustrate my ends.

Pieces of my soul,
Cast into the void;
Shreds of my heart,
Devoured by an all-consuming force;
It shall not be named.

I keep walking away from it.
Never feeling the matter within me
Confounding non-selves
Gathering no understanding. None.
Belonging to nowhere
Contemplating my selves
The evolutionary senses of the my own world
lost upon the shore into a forlorn indifference

Intuition collapses into itself
Trapped in mindspace, no proceedings.
An eternal question
Inquiring existence, always:

Where do I go.
What do I do.
Fearing the reasons,
Mulling the spectacle,
Insanity could be unleashed
Or unending apathy

Who knows?
The one with a mind for its unraveling, of course.

But not me.

My mind is not present
It is somewhere
Just not here

I have never been here at all. ~

elsewhere~ Finding the Elsewhere by Cesare Reggiani